I haven't really thought this thing through....

So I took a chance and went to Target yesterday with my son. And left only with groceries and a slightly virtuous feeling. Yes, he asked to get a toy but was happy with a bagel. I am not a parent who can't say no - most times I do - but it seems like they always have more asks than I have answers. I often talk about developmentally-appropriate-but-still-annoying behaviors, and since I subscribe to the theory of life-long learning, I guess that includes me too. Which is partly why I am challenging myself to a year of living minimally.

I'm not sure what made me decide to try this out. I had talked with various friends about it, but never seriously considered cutting back on my accumulation lifestyle. In my head, if it was a good buy, all was forgiven. But in our small, cluttered 1917 bungalow, the square footage didn't give extra credit for deeply-discounted stuff. And neither did Bob. "I don't care how much it cost, it's still plastic crap we don't need in the house."

I've always had a fascination with ascetics, but not an aspiration to become one. There was a time when everything that mattered most to me fit in a subcompact car. That was when I had to have a more mobile life, frequently moving for school, etc. It's been 11 years since I last moved. And it's starting to show. I make an effort monthly to go through the house and dispassionately acknowledge all the stuff that was truly non-essential. So about once a month I take a trunkload to Goodwill - usually when the kids aren't around to talk me out of this toy or that stuffed animal. I feel better, slightly simplified BUT IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE that I can perceive. Our house is still mostly our stuff with a roof on it. (RIP George Carlin!)

Which leads me to have to acknowledge my consumption patterns - something I haven't always been mindful of. There are a few things that we actually need and shop in particular to acquire them. But the vast majority of purchases I make are more of the what's-out-there and is-it-on -sale? variety.

This is the part where I shamelessly admit my gender stereotypes about shopping style. Although I have known exceptions, I still feel that the majority of women are shopping for entertainment and opportunity purposes and the social aspect is a side benefit. Men, on the other hand, go shopping for particular items and make it a seek-and-acquire stealth mission. Think about how rarely you hear men say they are going shopping without specifying what they're looking for.

I believe that there are some evolutionary reasons beyond this difference. This is somewhat based in evolutionary psychology but rings true because I have said it often enough to believe it myself, and I am all about the b.s. ability. In the time of cave-men-women-people (persons of cave???) the hunter/gatherer society was based on men hunting and women gathering. Considering how difficult it was to track and kill game, it took several men quite a bit of time before they even sighted game, much less got off a decent shot. And with dull spears, a deer might be wounded and they would follow the trail of blood for days. This required the men to be mostly silent and focused on a single goal. Meanwhile, the women would be back at camp, minding the children, gathering berries, looking out for predators, making clothing, preparing food - all of it requiring social interaction and multi-tasking. Fast forward a few millenia to the mall, and it all makes sense.

There is something alluring about bargains that feels like a success story for the hunter/gatherer. Granted, I'm not usually in survival mode when I'm perusing the clearance aisles at our local Target. Unless I go to our less-than-savory Targhetto, where I'm a bit more imperiled.

To some extent, swearing off buying new will force me to use my shopping wiles more, not less, because I will have to be more planful and resourceful. That will be gratifying, along with the knowledge I am doing what I can to reduce consuming new products to support our lifestyle. If I have to spend more time and energy acquiring things second-hand, perhaps the process of shopping will limit itself. Mindless consumption isn't an option.

For those of you shaking your heads and saying "Good luck with that!" , some caveats:

Of course I have a family that needs food, medicine, a home in good repair, etc. so some things are not negotiable. It's the wants that will be held to the standard of buying second-hand only.

Raw materials for repairs, crafts etc. will be excluded - provided every effort is made to make do with what we already have.

My kids will need school supplies, uniforms, and shoes. I'll try to buy from second-hand, garage sales, etc. but it's unlikely that will be sufficient.


At this point I haven't bought anything other than groceries. It's probably a good thing that I didn't think this through ahead of time, as I would have been tempted to "stock up". It's a family trait to be a packrat, especially with presents, rainy day activities, and all things crafty. So I have a stockpile already. Some challenges I've identified already: greeting cards. Yes, I have boxes of stamps and paper to make my own. But hauling out all that stuff is not exactly a last-minute project. I'll have to plan in advance and have a bunch made to choose from. That's manageable. I've also set the bar pretty low, as '08 was The Year That Thoughtful Gestures Forgot. I used to be a much nicer person. Or at least a person with more niceties. Who knew?