Aunt Rita and other shopping legends...

I've believed for some time now that I am incapable of passing up a bargain. It's an impulse disorder, not otherwise specified. I'm sure it will make the next DSM and be the "it" diagnosis, at least for a while.

Nature? Nurture? Yes.

In my family history, we have the beloved Aunt Rita, who does not go a day without shopping of some sort. She has befriended all the vendors at the swap meet/ farmer's market, and any bargains she picks up usually have a name and lifestory attached, free of charge. Aunt Rita is hugely generous but also loves a bargain, so what usually happens is she finds a really good deal, then figures out who to give it to. The thrill is in the (bargain) hunt.

Aunt Rita is a very accomplished shopper, too. No shop too big or too small. She has done Hong Kong without hyperventilating. If Canada had a Filene's, she would be elbowing her way through the most hardy shoppers. I remember one of her visits to our home fell around my birthday and my mother's - we're 4 days apart. I was granted the special privilege to go to the Boulevard Mall (shout out to Tonawanda, NY!) alone with Aunt Rita. This was pretty amazing in that she wanted me to pick out something for my gift, and without my parents there, I was less likely to feel constrained in my choices. Read: greed had free rein. I don't even remember now what I had chosen. What sticks in my mind is the moment when Aunt Rita paused in going through the clearance racks, held up a lovely teal blue dress, and pronounced it perfect for my mother. You were suddenly blinded by the brilliance of the insight, and there were angels singing to accompany this A-ha moment... Her tone of voice, flush with triumph. And when we brought it home and had Mom try it on - it was, in fact, perfect. Color, classic styling, cut, size, everything. It was made for her, at least it looked that way. She wore it for years, and always looked great. And Aunt Rita was able to see all of that in an instant.

Why was this so awe-inspiring? A brief rant on body image, to illustrate the point. We Fonfara women may shop off the rack, but have never been built accordingly. It's true. We're constitutionally ill-suited for anything with an actual waistline. And to call us top-heavy would be kind. Precariously perched is more like it. So pants that fit in the hips and thighs are nowhere close to the button-up zone, and tops that are accomodating to the bustline feature shoulder seams at half-mast. This takes a lot of the fun out of clothes shopping. Anyhow...

Mom and Aunt Rita came to visit me once in Minneapolis, shortly after the Mall of America opened. And we were on a mission. Sadly, my cousin's soon-to-be-ex took everything, leaving an empty house. With the inexplicable hurt, and feeling helpless, there was some solace in shopping. And shop we did. I remember a very long day, and an awful lot of shopping bags. Bedding and way way beyond - lots of bulky stuff. Aunt Rita, Mom and I finally made our way to the parking garage - fully loaded with at least 4 shopping bags each. People parted like the Red Sea while we walked down the hall, men looking horrified. Women were too busy reading the names on our bags to see where we scored such bargains to justify a shopping binge of this magnitude. We brought it all home and the pile was literally a cubic yard or more. It was legendary. We didn't talk about my cousin that much - what was there to say? But there was shopping to do, and we didn't flinch.