Attempts at atonement

But first, more confessions...

In addition to my clothes shopping spree yesterday, I indulged the children as well. When I picked them up at school, we had an impromptu playdate which morphed into a visit to the ice cream parlor. And if you're at the ice cream parlor (www.Izzysicecream.com) , you are only a few storefronts away from the best train store ever, Choo Choo Bob's (www.choochoobobs.com) . Lately, I've been keeping the kids outside the store, watching the awesome model railroad sets run. And if you go into the train store, chances are you'll spend lots of time at the 6 back tables set up with all things Thomas, Brio, etc. An hour later as the kids are playing, you've had a nice chance to catch up with another grownup, and you're getting ready to leave but feel like you should buy something. (For some reason I put it in the same category as the imagined obligation to buy something or other when you use the rest room at a gas station.)

I've talked to the guys that run the place, and they admit that 80% of their actual sales aren't to parents that bring their kids to play, it's to the grandparents of said children. So I rationalized a small toy for each of them. L picked out a miniature set of Lincoln logs that fits in a small can - perfect for tucking away in my purse and whipping out when we need a small activity (restaurants, mostly). And X is all about the Legos: a little ATV kit with a figure. We're talking about $11 total, but we know it's not about the money, right? I guess I felt a tad guilty after buying unwarranted stuff for myself, so why not compound the error?

I know, I know. It's not exactly logical thinking on my part. But honestly - the hour or so of kids engrossed in their new toys pales pretty quickly in the face of the less-than-thrilled spouse. Bob reminded me that if I'm indulging them too much, he doesn't get to do it at all. Sigh.

Insult to injury? The hours that X spends with the Lego catalog saying "I want this set and that set and that set." And today, both kids sulked because I wouldn't take them to ice cream or Choo Choo Bob's. Indulging them leaves them feeling more entitled, whereas sticking to the deprivation approach means they eventually stop whining. One slip, I've wiped out my gains. And intermittent reinforcement is stronger.

My penance today: an entire trunkload to Goodwill, loads of recycling, and a giant bag of stuff in the trash. The alleviation of guilt should occur any moment now...