AustHAIRity Measures

A few weeks ago I saw an article in the local paper about salons that were offering unique deals on services: bring in your 401(k) statement and they'll give you a discount equal to the percentage in value you've lost, up to 50% off. It's both clever and concerning to me. Because I am one of the fallen, and it shows...

Two years ago I had my hair cut drastically, and was able to donate 13 inches to Locks for Love, an organization that supplies wigs for kids undergoing chemotherapy. It was somewhat noble and necessary: although my hair, in and of itself, is good hair - it's pretty unflattering. I can't even remember the last time I got a haircut and I'm too lazy to look thru last year's planner, but I'm thinking it was early spring '08. We have a great salon within walking distance, owned by a neighborhood lady, who just happens to have kids the same age as mine and nearly as warped a sense of humor. It's one of those posh-but-still-welcoming spaces, and they will offer you a glass of wine as a restorative. The easy sociability and instant community makes it feel like a barbershop, but with better lighting and aromatherapy.

So why haven't I gone? I walk past on occasion, and am concerned that the business doesn't look all that busy. I certainly could use a little upkeep. I half-heartedly joke about waiting for the Ambush Makeover people to find me. I actually did write a pathetic letter trying to gain access to Oprah's "Help! I've really let myself go!" promotion a couple of years ago. I'm so low-maintenance at this point that the occasional lipstick is more a cry for help than anything else. My hair is now in the Unfortunate Ponytail Phase that for some reason reminds me of George Washington, although sans the wooden teeth - yet! It's too long for a flattering bob but too short to be well-behaved enough to stay off my face. And I've never been able to vaguely approximate a sleek chignon, whatever the hell that is.

Spending $$$ on a cut, color, eyebrow wax, and pedicure sounds hugely indulgent right now. Technically, it's an allowable expense and goes to support a small business in our neighborhood. And if I'm going to have a professional job I should at least put a bit of effort into my appearance... but I am reluctant to sign up. My dad is going to be visiting this week so maybe I'll take advantage of his babysitting skills (!) and sneak away for a little pampering.

But a nap sounds just as restorative, with a lot less upkeep.

Have I taken the vanity in this vanity project to heart? Apparently so. Or it could be a side effect of turning 40. That and I can't win FreeCell anymore and am afraid to try Suduko. Motherhood isn't for wimps, but I'm not sure which I miss most - my brain cells or waistline. Maybe I can do crossword puzzles and crunches at the same time. Or I can just sit quietly until the self-improvement urge passes.