Discouragement

It's unbelievably cold today and not conducive to anything but hibernation. Flannel sheets, flannel pajamas - then you're literally stuck in bed. Today has been cancelled due to lack of interest.

So perhaps driving right past the awesome thrift store (Unique, in St. Paul) wasn't that much of an accomplishment after all. At the time, though, it felt like a good decision. I realized that doing this year of simplicity/no new crap really has no bearing on my shopping compulsions. It just limits where I can shop, not the more important why. Hopefully that sense will evolve as well.

I did feel a trifle guilty at the grocery store, when I picked up two folders as our 1st grader's have gone MIA. So I did a little self-talk: it's school supplies after all. But later when I got home and went through the pile of paperwork and filing I've been avoiding for months, sure enough - two brand new folders. Sigh.

Isn't that rather Zen? All things needed are already provided, etc. Or on a more earthy note, I have so much crap I can't keep track of it all. I keep feeling that I'm doing this process backwards - that first I should pare down what I already have, then evaluate the remaining wants vs. needs. But hopefully I will be more aware of the acquisitions, at least.

I used to have a rule that for each thing brought/bought, TWO similar items had to go. And I never did notice a decrease in the net stuff. Maybe it's like Gremlins, multiplying because I mistakenly spilled something or fed my habitual shopping beastie after midnite. It's ironic because I used to think myself non-materialistic, in that self-satisfied way. My big a-ha moment was this summer, when I got the call from Bob that we'd been robbed and all of my jewelry was gone. I wouldn't describe myself as high maintenance or particularly bejewelled. But when I sat down to try to create a list of all that was missing - family heirlooms, things purchased on various trips, pieces I'd made in my foray into silver clay, special pieces I was looking forward to leaving to my daughter - it was overwhelmingly emotional. Mostly the sentimental stuff and things that couldn't be replaced. So perhaps it's not about the materialism after all.

Do yourself a favor: go thru your jewelry box, put it all on the flatbed scanner, and send copies to trusted folks. Check your insurance riders too. It may just be stuff (already melted down into unsentimental blobs of gold and silver somewhere) but getting more than token reimbursement would have taken the sting out a bit.