Guest column from Molly Ellen

One of the best things about this blog - or the whole endeavor of limiting myself to purchasing only used items - has been the conversations it has started. In very disparate settings, really amazing, thoughtful discussions have emerged. And my high school friend Molly Ellen is just such an example. She is very supportive of stay at home parents and all the efforts we make to live well and perhaps smaller. I was lucky to get a short visit in with her and her family during my last Buffalo tour. It's so nice, having a mental image of hearth & home, that gives more dimension to mere Facebook updates.

So here's what Molly Ellen wrote in a recent note, posted here with her permission:


"Took the kids and the husband on a trip to Vidler's on a recent rainy Sunday. If you've never been to this WNY 5 & 10 Emporium, it's worth a stop on your next tour.

Since Vidler's contains literally thousands, in not millions of items, many of which are toys, I thought it might be a good idea to give the kids a lesson in finance while we were there. Instead of the usual begging on their part, weighing options on my part and crying on everyone's part, I decided to give them each $5.00 and let them choose something for themselves. It could be anything, as long as it was not dangerous and came in at $5.00 or less, including tax.

Here's what I learned:
-when it's 'their' money, my kids are much more careful decision makers than when it is 'my' money
-Connor is much more skilled at math than he lets on - I saw lots 'o calculations to add prices and allow for tax
-Erin is already angry about paying taxes. I see activism in her future

Both kids were immediately enamored with a display that allowed you to choose your own beads for bracelets, etc. one at a time. They declared that this was much better than the craft store where you can buy a bag of letters and still not have as many Ns as they really need. They were sucked in and each bought about $1.50 worth of beads. This, of course, impacted the remainder of their shopping. Connor was witnessed hand slapping forehead saying "why oh why did I buy those beads" in front of a display of small metal airplanes that were out of his budget by about $.50. Erin's quote of the day was, "Mom, it's just too much to look at in here."

Here's what I'm taking away in terms of consumption...My kids (and I) need to remember that it is easy to accumulate stuff, but the stuff can be disappointing and burdensome in the long run. Like any other rush, the thrill of shopping and buying is often short-lived. Also, as much as Vidler's is marketing their store as being a thing of the past, I think they're on to something with selling the smallest possible portion instead of the largest. The alphabet beads really got me thinking. Each bead was five cents. Sure I might be able to buy 1000 beads at the craft store for five dollars (making each bead a half a cent), but with my name, I still may not have what I need - 26 letters in my name 17 are Ls, Ns, or Es. Plus, I'm sure I'd get a lot of what I didn't need. Paying slightly more to be guaranteed what I need with nothing left to spare is a bargain in my mind."


Molly Ellen brings up some excellent points to ponder. I think I'll try the experiment with a bit of birthday money (this year we've been trying to use it on purchasing experiences rather than things) but giving them the option to choose.

I'm also thinking it may be time to institute an allowance, as a way to encourage them to learn to budget, and perhaps a way to encourage them to take ownership of various helpful projects around the house. My personal hot button issue: asking for help cleaning up toys and getting major attitude about (sigh) "you make me do EVERYTHING around here!"

This is when I have to struggle to keep control. Including not letting the Snakes of Rage spring from my forehead, with my hounds-o-hell voice saying all sorts of ridiculous things attempting to set the record straight. As my friend's sainted mother points out, "There's nothing personal about housework. It just IS."

Zen and the Art of Housekeeping. Coming soon, to a blog post near you.