Birthday Quandry, continued

First off, can I say how aware I am that I don't have any real problems and am unbelievably blessed ? The fact that birthdays rate as a "quandry" probably means I'm in denial or completely out of proportion with my concerns. But that's a whole 'nother blog!

I spent most of yesterday hand-writing numerous invitations, decorating them, painting and cutting out hearts for valentines, etc. I was enjoying it because I like doing futzy stuff like that, and now I couldn't just up and buy invites so at least I felt noble. It became less enjoyable as the day went on. Three four year old boys for a playdate weren't exactly conducive to my creative process, but still I slogged on. I even tried to get them involved, but for some reason they found it more entertaining to glue numerous hearts and shapes together to make monsters. Sigh.

When my daughter came home from her violin lesson, she was excited about the invitations. She didn't feel like decorating them, however, and wanted to move on to other projects. This is the part where I forget that adult agendas really don't apply in kidland, and I turn a fun project into a Chore of Much Whining. We were nearly done when she starts identifying other girls she'd like to invite. There are two first grade classes at her school, and we had agreed on inviting all the girls in her class, plus one neighborhood friend. But there are a couple of girls in the other class that are in Girl Scouts with her, and she'd like to include them. Not wanting to offend or exclude anyone, more invitations are required. So this small pizza party with optional sleepover potentially has 18 guests, which is enough to make me have an outbreak of tics just contemplating it.

I'm betting on a couple of things in my favor of this birthday roulette: it's a 4 day weekend (President's Day) and maybe people will be out of town. And some kids aren't ready for sleepovers at this age. And I've turned self-delusion into a hobby.

Bob and I decided on the no gifts option, but differed on the approach. He suggested saying something like "No gifts and we'll return the favor by not giving out gift bags of crap. It's a win-win." Miss Manners was not amused, gentle reader. So I put in a line "In the spirit of voluntary simplicity, please no gifts." Then I started to think that was a tad sanctimonious... look at me! we're swell. see the blog!!! But I didn't know how else to frame "no gifts" and I physically couldn't write out another 18 invitations. (Handwriting is a lost art form. And, oh yeah, our printer is busted.)

Getting my daughter's buy-in (pun intended) was another story, and she reads now, so I couldn't sneak it in. In a 7 year old's view, there is no reasonable explanation as to why 18 birthday gifts is not an inherently good idea. She points out that she didn't take this pledge, and that it's not fair. Yeah, but.... yeah. And now she's counting the money in her piggybank, waiting to have enough to purchase - ugh - another freakin' Barbie. Insult, compounded with interest, upon injury. So the compromise was hatched - she can use her money to buy what she wants, within reason. She'll probably score another few dollars (main sources of income are from the tooth fairy and great-aunts) so then I will take her to the store of her choice to purchase whatever her little heart desires. Whilst my feminist heart breaks with concern for her unrealistic body image. Sigh.