Let me explain. No, there is too much.

Let me sum up.

Maybe.

In lieu of the other blog I have yet to write which would detail the spectacular derailment of my marriage, I feel I should at least attempt to explain my absence from the blogosphere. But that would involve a degree of understanding that I have yet to achieve.

I am sitting in my teeny-weeny 2 bedroom attic apartment, but it is mine and it is peaceful. We are sharing custody of the kids and honestly, it's too damn quiet when they aren't here. And when I look at the home page which says "My endeavor for 2009 is to live smaller" the irony is not lost on me...

I am sitting on a glorious wingback chair, left for me by a friend of a friend (and fellow traveler) who heard I was trying to amass a household. I never even got to meet her, just picked up the chair off the curb with a note saying "This is my Pay-It-Forward. God bless you." The dinette set and dresser are from my friend Kath who is operating a Home for Wayward Furniture and swears that I am doing her a favor. Her sainted mother sent me sheets, towels, cookies, and a sweet note that made me cry. From Pam, sundry essentials I hadn't spared a thought for, and a bed, toaster and crockpot. Jen is giving me a microwave; Nina, a coffee grinder. And the outpouring of offers has been absolutely overwhelming - I could have furnished this place three times over. And Greg and Tracey and Kath toiled mightily to move it all here. These are the times where you count your blessings in friends. So I am rich indeed... and grateful.

I got the dream job with hospice, and I start on Monday. The kids will be in afterschool programs. Between working FT, trying to keep my private practice, and single parenting at least half time, I am pretty confident that I'll no longer have the time or energy to go to 3 or 4 thrift stores in search of winter boots, which is the death knell for this vanity project of mine. Will I make an effort? Absolutely! I am still addicted to the deal, especially if it comes from atypical shopping sources. (Lovely 7 X 9 wool rug, PPL Shop, $75!) And I won't casually walk into Target and throw down $$$ for stuff that is unnecessary... because there's no room in my teeny weeny apartment for more than bare essentials.

And it's all good.